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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  June 3, 2015 9:00am-9:35am PDT

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>> june 2, 2015, from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart! (cheers and applause) ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to "the daily show"! my name is jon stewart! we have a good show for you tonight! on our program, new york mayor william bill deblasio will join us later. i don't know if you know this, the middle east, a bit of a mess...
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(laughter) i'm going to go out on a limb and say a little bit of a mess, namely because of artifact, gio teen people called i.s.i.s. you probably knew that. what you didn't know is there's only one reason why i.s.i.s. is even in existence. >> pulling all u.s. troops out of iraq directly led to groups like i.s.i.s. quickly achieving power in our country. >> the reason they didn't leave residual force in iraq is the reason we're facing i.s.i.s. today. >> i.s.i.s. is the creation after we pulled out the troops in 2011. that was the key mistake made by this administration. >> jon: of course! obama! obama's decision to pull troops out of iraq was only following the dictates of the 2008 agreement president bush signed with iraq or as historians now refer to that agreement the
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status. another mistake. you don't go to the press conference without wearing shoe helmet one. (laughter) but i don't know that would really work. point taken, if only we had spent just a little more than the $25 billion in ten years of equipping and training the iraqi army we already spent, the entire country would be the fragrant blossom we planted there and we could go back to our original plan for region, wait until it runs out of oil and stop giving a (bleep) about it. (laughter) oh... one other thing. it turns out that the i.s.i.s. we're fighting now is run by some very familiar folk. >> a lot of these i.s.i.s. forces are former baathists, iraqi military officer who is worked for saddam hussein.
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>> jon: two upsetting things here. one, i cannot believe iraq's veteran reemployment program is more efficient than ours. damn it! and, t%o, it makes it seem -- (laughter) -- it makes it seem like maybe our decision in 2003 to disband saddam hussein's army taking away their jobs, dignity, future prospects, basically everything but their weapons was dumb. and by the way, in case you're wondering what kind of dummy fide dummy would dumbly make such a dumb decision, it was grammar! the point is obama's decision to pull troops out of iraq may have helped to create i.s.i.s. as did the decision to disband saddam's army, as did the decision to invade a country that had nothing to do with 9/11
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overthrowing its established government, thinking the power vacuum would be filled by a peaceful, democratic shower' sharing agreement aligned with the united states and their new western style democracy would be a shining example to the middle east but of course, now i'm (bleep) nit-picking! (cheers and applause) it is almost as if this incredibly complex problem can be traced back to more than one bad decision! (laughter) which brings us to our new segment, american middle east, learning curves. (applause) of course not leaving our troops in iraq would not have been as big a problem had we not -- not left our troops -- here's the deal... (laughter) to stop i.s.i.s. we know obama should not have withdrawn our troops but what should obama
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have done? >> i.s.i.s. emerged from the chaos of syria because we were not willing to arm and train moderate rebels. >> we should identify people we could work with on the ground in syria and empower them. >> i think we should have armed the syrian rebels early in the conflict. >> jon: and you're saying why in god's name should we take advice from people who were wrong about this cluster (bleep) in the first place? the reason is when it comes to america in the middle east -- say it with me, learning curves are for pussies! it turns out -- (cheers and applause) it turns out, we have actually tried this arming rebel group strategy in the past. barack obama actually commission add study from the c.i.a. to examine the efficacy of arming such rebel groups in these interventions.
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you will never guess what they found. >> president obama asked for a study of past instances in which the c.i.a. has worked with insurgents and rebels and found basically it never worked. >> jon: whoa what! the c.i.a. study found it never works? the c.i.a., the ones who have been doing it for the past 65 years who have been commissioning dr. oz for a report on the effectiveness of pomegranate dick pills and him coming back with, you don't mind if i keep selling them, do you? the c.i.a. reported did find one exception to taring insurgents never works rule. when the c.i.a. covertly in the mujahideen rebels in the '80s and they fought off soviets successfully. whatever happened to those guys? >> the mujahideen in afghanistan who the u.s. armed in the 1980s only to watch them morph into the taliban.
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>> jon: and that is the success story. america is like wiley coyote. every time we end up in the desert -- every time we send a weapon to the desert itents up where we don't want it to! wile e. coyote. it ended up in the hands of i.s.i.s., and with shia militias accused of atrocity. the only people in iraq not swimming in american armaments are the actually people weying to arm. the iraqi army lost so much equipment to the enemy they're having to shout bang bang in training exercises while a trainer bangs a hammer against a poll to simulate enemy fire, a very effective training technique if i.s.i.s. ever attacks them with triangles! so that is the current situation, the unintended consequences of good guy armed
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intervention and how do we get ourselves out of this. well, wear we already know that when it comes to america in the middle east learning curves are for pussies! >> i think we need to arm the kurds. >> we should arm the guys willing to fight the kurds and the anbar sunni arabs we're not doing that. >> i'm an advocate of arming kurds, they're very strong in support of our ideals. (laughter) >> jon: (bleep) (bleep), (bleep), (bleep)! (applause) >> jon: this whole iraq cluster quagmire (bleep) catastrophe started in the 1980s when america's solution to the ayatollah was to arm at
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that time the good guy in the region -- or as he was known -- hmm -- saddam hussein! we spent the '80s giving saddam hussein's baathists weapons to fight against the iranians. the '90s helping kuwait fight against saddam's baathists that we armed. heading a coalition to destroy saddam's baathist and the team fighting against the baathist going by the name of i.s.i.s. that we originally armed in the eighties to fight iran but we're not sure even stated the microof the learning curve guess who the new guy with a gun in the region is. >> there's a de facto cooperation between iran and the united states. >> iran is doing battle with i.s.i.s. now with the blessing of the white house. (jon cursing) (laughter) (applause) america in the middle east!
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learning curves are for
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thought i told you to stay off our turf. and what would you know about turf, skipper? let's end this here and now! let's dance! flo: whoa there! progressive covers boats and rvs, okay? plenty of policies to go around. [ grunts ] oh, oh, i'm the bad guy? you threw a fish at us so, yeah.
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>> how many kate lins. call her caitlin. >> story of the day bruce jenner -- >> caitlin jenner made her debut -- >> caitlin jenner... >> jon: pretty sure that news anchor just asked if caitlin jenner knows where the library is. my spanish isn't great. you know, this is tremendous. you know what's especially brave of caitlin general tore do this publicly because we all know the media -- they're awful. now we're going to have the listen to a lot of people saying awful things about them. >> a brave olympian transformed. it's really quite inspiring. very inspirational. i think it's courageous. t sends a message to the world this is who i am. >> i think it's a really healthy thing to talk about. >> call chiewrl milestone. a big moment for caitlin jenner, me and society. >> jon: all right... that was actually great. i mean obviously some people
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were dicks but, you know -- (laughter) -- today we're not going to let them ruining it. it's heartening to see everyone is not only accepting caitlin jenner as a woman but waste no, sir time in treat herring as a woman. >> wow. sexy. i got a couple of e-mails from a friend saying i'm a little jealous she looks better than i do. >> she looks like a movie star. rita hayworth, so glamorous. >> looks stunning. amazing. yes! caitlin is hot! yeah, sexy boobs! >> jon: i mean, i was, like, my brain was, like, this is a great milestone for the transgender community but my penis was all, like, (bleep)! (applause) you see, caitlin when you were a man, we could talk about your athleticism your business acumen, but now you're a woman and your looks are really the
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only thing we care about. which brings us to phase two of your transition -- comparative (bleep)ability. >> it's like that chick from american horror story. >> jessica lane. caitlin is hotter than chris. does she have a better body than kim kardashian? >> look... we want to give a woman a compliment here, we just want to make sure another woman gets the process sf how we maintain the balance. well we're almost all the way there. let's complete the transition. >> she looks good. especially for her age. >> jon: there you go! wow! that's the caveat we were missing reminder her she has an expiration date now! you came out at 65, you've got another two years before you become invisible to society! better make the most of them. and you know what? since it's a special day, why don't we throw in a dash of she's probably not that hot in
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person. >> the outfit, it's a white satin corset, very playboy bunniesque. >> it shows the amazing effect the makeup can have. >> i'm wondering how much is photo shopped and air brushed. >> jon: you take away the corset and makeup and i don't know if anyone wants to bang her! (laughter) caitlin jenner, congratulations for being a woman in america. (chee
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ht, he runs this town, and if you know what's good for ya, you will shut up! he's the mayor of new york city. please welcome back to the program, mayor bill deblasio! (cheers and applause) ♪ how are you? thank you for joining us! >> it is a great pleasure. >> jon: this is an exciting time for you. you know, you're obviously mayier of new york but also taking a more national platform on the issue of income inequality. you feel that's a real injustice and i want to ask you before we get into that, what also about height inequality? (laughter) what about a situation where the 1 percenters tower in their
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ivory legs over the prolatarion who are maybe closer to the rats, the gutter, the subway? how do you redistribute? >> i'm kind of darwinian on this one. >> jon: all right. (laughter) this income inequality you put together what was called an aggressive agenda to address income inequality. basickic tent post what can be done. >> raise of wages and benefits. $15 minimum wage for america. (cheers and applause) >> jon: is there small businesses on the markets who may not have the ability to do that? is that taking into account or is that the idea it's okay? >> you can always have local variations and some exceptions burks core point minimum-wage means what you could actually live on. new york city today minimum
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wage $8.75. can you live in new york city on that? >> jon: i don't think you can live anywhere on that. also the larger corporations, warrants they pay very little and the state and federal government pick up the tab for the services that need to be rendered who can't live. food stamps a et cetera. >> $15 minimum wage, give people basic benefits, paid sick days paid family leave, the kind of thing we see in industrializations all over the world, tax the wealthy. >> jon: okay so here's one we'll throw to you. 1982 the s.e.c. deregulated the stock option buyback for corporate investment. what about your rein that in, so much of the profits -- we have some statistics -- this is by the way, harvard business review, no leftest rag -- are suggesting if you take away the buyback fever on the open market
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it inadvertently inflates the stock market, so much wage is pulled out, not reinvested into the country but goes to the boards and stockholders would you support that type of program? >> absolutely. in the progressive yeand available at progressive agenda.ua, by the..com, the tax advantage is for performance pay exactly what you were referring to with the stock. c.e.o.s make a huge amount of money and then it's tax sheltered currently and what it does, as you indicate circuits makes matters worse because the money doesn't go back into the company doesn't go to work or investments in the economy, build the economy, build more jobs, no it goes the few. here's the bigger problem in the country. the concentration of wealth and power in the hands of a very few is actually pulling down the country. the greatest income disparity since before the great depression. we have the last 25 years or so the average american family
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literally adjusted for inflation, literally has gone backwards economically. we had a recovery. the vast majority of gains the top 1%. but with these being so stark why is it so difficult, is it people do not trust that when that money goes back to the government that it will be spent wisely? that it won't be squandered? do they almost prefer it being squandered to the wealthy c.e.o.s than to the government? how do you rebuild trust? it's your platform that that money is utilized correctly? >> i think when people of this country see their government and assure a decent standard of living $15 minimum-wage, paid sick leave pre-k, which should be universal for families in this curnghts when the government is providing those kind of fundamentals there will be an increase in the trust. the other part of the equation is people didn't get to vote on
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a lot of these things. these were changes in the private sector economy that happened without public debate. if i said to the average american, the buffet rule he pays a lower tax rate than the secretaries or clerks in his office. he and the average middle eastern say that's wrong. the average american says close the hedge fund loophole. why does a billionaire hedge fund manager pay less in taxes than the woman who cleans his beach house or man who flies his private jet? that's an inequity in this country they shouldn't be allowed but we didn't get to vote on those. >> jon: the other side people say the federal and city governments have a tremendous amount of money, spent it all in the past 40 years yet we still have intractable poverty and areas that seemingly we can't fix with money and everything else, how do you convince them that more intervention -- what do we do with those areas that seem to be impervious to those
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kinds of interventions? >> have there been instances where government was bureaucratic, insufficient or politics and money wasn't spent well? of course. but investment in education and infrastructure works. it has historically for this country from the end of world war ii through the end of the 1970s there was a middle class because we invested. >> jon: what about breaking up? we've created neighborhoods through policies, seg dwaitionist policies, economic policies, et cetera, that made it very difficult for interventions to permeate those areas. >> correct. >> jon: what about breaking those up so that people don't feel so trapped? >> one of the things -- i think you're right. one of the ways you do it you build affordable housing. in this city we have 200,000 units of affordable housing. that's the only way new york city will be a city for all kinds of people if we create affordable housing. in the process you bring
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different communities together in the same place. you start to integrate. that is a beginning of a change. >> jon: it would be nice to see 200,000 units in work because that would bring the total 200,000. (laughter) done your background research. i am impressed. stick around. we'll put this on the we haven't stick around, we'll talk about how you have ruined the city. and everybody's going to die soon. mayor bill deblasio. we'll be right back. >> great to see you. ♪ ♪ ♪ brookside chocolate now has a crunch. brookside crunchy clusters - crispy multi-grains and sweet fruit-flavored pieces dipped in rich dark chocolate. discover brookside crunchy clusters.
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>> jon: here's your moment of zen. >> bruce jenner is now caitlyn jenner. check out the (cheers and comedy central >> larry: tonightly the supreme court says it's okay to use abusive language on facebook. just in time for the idiots you knew in his to weight in on caitlyn jenner. the supreme court takes down abercrombie and fitch. it's about time whenever declares those super skinny jeans cruel and unusual. [laughing] >> larry: we get an update on baltimore. here is a hint it's from fox news. it's going to rhyme with [beep] crazy. you have the right to remain nightly. this is the nightly show!